am a student from class 4-4, graduating this year. I am writing this letter in regards to the proposal on how to improve the school using the money that the Ministry has given the school. I have chosen the second option, which is buying the computers for the students and staff of this school. In this modern society, every student needs access to the computer.
Students will be able to research and have self directed learning.（ These two points should be separated） Students will be able to discover things out by themselves. It will make the students more enthusiastic about lessons. With the computers, students who have no computers at home will have no need to go to public places like the cyber café to use to computer. The setting up of a computer lab will make a conducive environment for the students.
The computers will be able to provide a place for entertainment and relaxation for the students. Students are stressed by the daily work given and by the high expectations of parents and teachers. With the computers, students can play educational games on the computers. This will allow them to relax and at the same time expand their knowledge.(How ?)
Teleconferencing can also be done among students, teachers and professors all over the world. In this way, students will be able to clear doubts with their teachers, as will their teachers clear doubts with their professors. Discussion between students , and teachers all around the world will be more efficient. (The sentence is very vague and didn’t mention how it can be efficient)
Teachers will be able to give students ample preparation before the lesson takes place. Slides and information of an upcoming topic can be sent to the students. Students will thus be able to read through and get a rough idea of the topic to be taught. This will make the job of the teachers easier and teaching will be more efficient. (Lack of example)
Proposal Two is a better choice compared to other proposals as opening a computer lab will set up a conducive environment for the students and staff. People of the same interest in education can gather here and discuss.(The last paragraph is supposed to be comparing of the projects, but your work does not show a very clear comparison. Why? You did not specify which project you are comparing.)
Choice: buy classroom furniture and equipment. I think that buying classroom furniture equipment is the best choice because it benefits the students by encouraging collaborative learning amongst the students. The new set of tables can be combined together to form groups of four that will not only allow students to improve on their studies through collaborative learning, But also learn new things from one another. Group projects will also be easier and convenient because students sit very close to each other which also mean that they can communicate better. Compared to buying new computers, it is better choice because computers may just distract them from completing their task which defeats the whole purpose of sitting together to learn. It is also very hard for a group of four students to work on a computer together and might also result in only one or two contributing to the work. This is also the best choice because new furniture enables the student to distress. New set of furniture, such as cushion chairs or even calming wallpapers helps students to relieve stress after a long lesson. Students should be very tired or stressed about studying, so with these new additions they can distress. Compared to computers, new classroom furniture helps to distress while computers do not. Computers might spoil and damage our eyesight after a very long time of usage. Gaming for very long might make the students feel very stressed, which does not help.
Comments : Old furniture can also be combined together for group work.. Distress is suffering, not relieving stress. (Check dictionary) How gaming make people feel stressed? How it benefit to teacher? (not enough time) How does the cushion and calming wallpaper help to relieve stress??
Block 601 Clementi West Street 1 #07-07 Singapore 120601
30 July 2010
Principal 31 Yuan Ching Road Singapore 748684
Dear Mr Tham
RE: Choice to improve the school with Ministry money
I am Yong Chuen of class 3/4. The purpose of my letter is to state my choice of how the money should be spent. After having gone through all the proposals, I have decided that buying classroom furniture and equipments would best benefit the students.
Needless to say, the choice should be able to benefit the students. Being able to benefit the students mean that the facilities would be able to help them to learn better, students are able to make use of it most of the time. In addition, they had to be closely related to the student’s environment in order to benefit them. As buying classroom equipments and furniture would enhance their learning environment, it would become more conducive, and hence, students can learn better with a better environment. (how?) Students are able to make use of the furniture and equipment daily, so, it is closely related to their daily life.(so?) For example, if the students are having a shaky table and chair, they would not be able to concentrate during lessons as they would try to stabilized the tables and chairs. If the equipments like projector in the classroom is damaged, it would mean that the students would not able to use it to help them understand the lesson better ( again, how ? If the projector is absent, students would not be able to present the presentation using powerpoint and instead, they would have to write all the content on the whiteboard, which would cause inconvenience and trouble for the students. As compared to computers, tables and chairs are required everyday for every lessons, while computers are used once in the blue moon. Nonetheless, furniture and equipments would be improve the student’s environment unlike computers. ( how would it improve the studying environment? )
Another factor to consider is to be able to benefit the teachers. Teachers able to be benefited means that they would be able to conduct their lessons without much difficulties and able to get the attention of their students with the aid of the conducive environment which help the teachers to capture the attention of the students. The teachers would be able to teach comfortably with the furniture and the equipments; teachers are able to share more resources with their students. For example, with the aid of projectors and computer in the classroom, teachers are able ( are they already able to ?) to show their students those videos that would help them to understand the content better. Hence, teachers would not have to waste more time teacher the concepts repeatedly, which would become stressful for both students and teachers. As compared to buying books in the library, new equipments ( what equipments? ) would allow the teachers to get their resources(how?) and therefore, they do not need to make a trip to the library, hence, saving time for the teachers to do their own work.
In conclusion, I believe that buying classroom furniture and equipments would be a better choice as it benefits the teachers and students the most. Thank you for taking time to read this letter.
Blk 335, Kang Ching Road Green lantern likes hawk girl Singapore 610335
29 July 2010
21 Goodwood Ville Kang Yang Road avenue 6 Singapore 635029
Dear Principal Hao Ting
Firstly, I would like to thank you for giving us this rare opportunity to decide on how to spend sum of money given by the Ministry to improve the school. I strongly believe that Proposal one - buying classroom furniture and equipment, would benefit both the students and teachers.
The brand new furniture will create a better learning environment for the students. Having a conductive environment, would allow fellow students to focus more on their studies without being distracted by the spoilt furniture. For example, with shaky chairs and tables, students would find it difficult to write properly and concentrate on their work without a sturdy table. By replacing these furniture, students can then be more focused on completing their work. Furthermore, with vandalized tables, students will be easily distracted by the profanities and writings on the table.
Students would also be able to use the new equipments to complete their projects more effectively. They can carry out presentations using the projectors, without having to write out everything on the whiteboard which can be a tedious and time-consuming task. Classroom furniture of creative design can be purchase, for example tables that are circle or can be join to form a circle would allow group discussion to take place. The furniture can be colourful so as to make the class a more lively learning environment thus they can concentrate more on the lesson. (comment : point stated that new equipment to complete their projects more effectively while the example stated that the new furniture can create a lively environment )
With the furniture bought, teachers should benefit. These new furniture would enable the teachers to teach the students comfortably in a more conductive environment. Teachers will be able to ??????? uncompleted point
The new equipments should aid the teachers in teaching more effectively and using different methods to teach students. For example, with the projector, teachers will be able to play online videos that are relevant to the subject. This will gain the interest of the fellow students and hence, getting their attention.
In conclusion, I believe that the purchaser of new classroom equipment would be the best way to use the money.
I think the second proposal is more appropriate. In this modern world, every students need to access to the computer. The computers would be able to benefit the students by helping them in their studies and project works. By using doing projects, students would be able to learn 21st century skills such as information literacy and digital literacy. This would greatly help them in their work in society when they graduate to become working adults. Without these skills, the students would not be able to cope with the changing society that is happening in Singapore.
Hence, comparing this proposal with the third one, buying books would be rather inconvenient compared to having a computer as going through thousands of pages is a very tedious and troublesome process. Also, books might be outdated easily as the information might change frequently. Unlike books, the information in the computer would be updated.
- “every students” Too strong. Not ALL! Use a word of less intensity. - “By using doing projects” Wrong sentence structure - “helping them in their studies and project works” versus “21st century skills such as information literacy and digital literacy” Able to separate into 2 points. - “information literacy and digital literacy” Please elaborate. What do they mean? - “greatly help them in their work” Please elaborate. How does it help them? - “buying books would be rather inconvenient” How is buying them inconvenient. - How does “buying books would be rather inconvenient” relate to “going through thousands of pages is a very tedious and troublesome process”?
I am Ke vin vin from class 4-4. I am writing this letter to inform you of my choice in improving the school.
Firstly, buying computers benefits students by allowing them to learn independently. They would be able to do research on their own after school hours about lessons that they could not understand and this would help them in their studies. Furthermore, it will be much more convenient by browsing educational websites using these computers and improve on the efficiency of learning. Students using computer would not have to rely on their teacher to provide them with answers because they would be able to find out on their own and this allows them to remember the information better. For example, with the help of these computers, teachers are able to assign project works to the students either in groups or individual. By doing project works, students are required to apply the 21st century skills such as critical thinking, teamwork and problem-based learning. All this helps the students to be more independent and thus, benefitting them. CONSTRUCTIVE COMMENTS: 1. THERE IS MORE THAN ONE POINT IN THE PARAGRAPH!
One criterion would be to benefit the students in terms of their comfort. By improving the classroom furniture, the students will enjoy better comfort and will enjoy the lesson better as there is lesser discomfort. An example would be buying chairs €improve the students’ seating posture that is good for the back. The current chairs have very straight backs that do not fit the students’ bodyline, making it very uncomfortable for them. With a better seating posture, students will not experience discomfort in the back and will help them focus on the lesson better. Another example is replacing the current projectors with newer ones. The current projectors are of poor quality, and they often display blur images. Students have difficulty seeing the words on the screen and will have to constantly squint their eyes, making it very uncomfortable. By buying better projectors that display clear images, students will not have to squint so much and that makes the lessons more comfortable for them. (*Projector is not furniture. Point is towards benefiting the students. Good elaboration about the furniture faulty. Explanation is clear.)
The new furniture is also supposed to benefit the students in terms of their learning. By buying classroom furniture and equipment, the students will benefit by having a more comfortable and conducive learning environment which may help their grades improve. And with a better classroom, students will be more encouraged to come for lessons and learn as the furniture is more comfortable and attractive. By buying better chairs and desks that are not shaky, students can concentrate better and not be distracted by rickety furniture. And with better fans that do not make ticking sounds, the students will not be distracted and can fully listen to their teachers. Examples are not provided. The paragraph is just a link from the first. It uses the related explanation from the first paragraph to supplement the 2nd paragraph. It make it seems like a additional explanation for the first paragraph and not explaining the 2nd paragraph point.
Another criterion is also to benefit the teachers in terms of hassle-free IT equipment. By improving the current internet connection in school allows the teachers to show the students real life examples from videos on the internet and do not have to worry about not having internet connection. The current wireless network is often very slow and teachers often takes a long time before showing the students the videos, and also there are times when there are no internet connection. By improving the IT equipment, lesser time will be needed to wait for the internet connection and it helps the teacher to save more time and can spend it on other useful things in class, and also, the teacher will not have to worry about not having internet connection (some sentences are vague. Examples are also not provided. Internet connection is not an equipment.Copied-- it helps the teacher to save more time and can spend it on other useful things in class this is only to help the students by allowing them to learn new things but it is not helping the teachers as they still have to teach more things, exhausting them.
Buying classroom furniture and equipment can create a better learning environment for the students to study in so that there will be less disruption in class. The old tables and chairs [are old and] create squeaky noises when they are [moved] dragged across the floor. With the new furniture in place, there will no [less] squeaky noises made and there will be less disruptions during lessons. As there is no [less] noises made, the students can concentrate properly during their lessons. {Critic: Relevant points, though few grammatical errors}
With the new furniture, students would also look forward to going to school. This Is because with the new furniture, it creates a sense of excitement in the students. Students always look forward to using new items and are curious to find out more about it. Therefore, this would encourage students to look forward to school. {Critic: How does new furniture create a sense of excitement? / somehow irrelevant point, does not answer the criteria.}
Buying equipments such as projectors would be more convenient for the teachers to conduct their lessons. The teachers would be able to use their computers and this can enhance the efficiency of teaching as the teachers would not have to say out every single point, [which can be a troublesome task]. Teaching with such equipments would also be more interesting for the students which would benefit the teacher as she will be able to teach easier. {Critic: How would this help the teacher to teach easier?}
Thus, I think that buying classroom furniture and equipment is more suitable than buying computers. Buying furniture would create a better learning environment for the students, while buying computers would enable the students to do research for their studies. However, almost every student have computers at home already. Thus, if they want to do research. They can go home and complete the work. Thus. Schools do not need to spent on computers as it would be a rather waste of money as compared to buying furniture and equipments. {Critic: Comparison between the proposals are not strong enough.}
The comments are in {} The [] is the weird part... hmm
Classroom furniture are very important to having a conducive learning environment. Knowing that the proposal should benefit the students, I have chosen proposal 1. After buying classroom furniture, the students are able to concentrate better in class as they are more comfortable. Studying with shaky tables will cause the students to lose focus and get irritated easily. The students will spend time adjusting the shaky tables and chairs to get themselves comfortable. Thus, they may lose out on what is being taught. For example, if the classroom furniture is faulty, most of the students will adjust their tables and chairs and this will cause disturbance in the lessons. Therefore, the lessons are not able to continue as per normal.
Critique: how disturbance affects student’s learning? How classroom furniture provide students with conducive learning environment? How does it benefit the teachers?
By getting new furniture, it will benefit the students by making them less distracted and more comfortable. The students do not need to put make-shift supports to prevent the chairs and tables from being shaky anymore, which will in turn caused them to be able to concentrate on their work. The new air-conditioner will also make the classroom sound-proof, which the students would also be able to concentrate well in class because they do not need to worry about the din caused by other students and also some weather problems. For example, the sounds of the thunder.( How does air-conditioning make the room sound proof? How does it prevent the sound of thunder from travelling into the classroom? The air-conditioning will produce more sound that the din caused. All students have different limits in enduring cold, if a student complains of being too cold, while another complains of being too warm, they will constantly be switching the temperature of the air-conditioning and this will distract them more.)
Another reason is that it will benefit the teachers too. With quality furniture, like the microphone, the teachers do not need to raise and strain their voices.( a microphone is NOT a furniture, it is an EQUIPMENT ……. And the microphone will create a lot of annoying screeching sounds, this will distract the students and affect their hearing, and not all teachers needs to strain their voice, some have naturally loud voice.)
All in all, I believed that with the new classroom furniture and equipments, it will not only benefit students, but also the teachers, and make the school a more conducive environment for learning. ( How does it benefit the student and teacher? )
am a student from class 4-4, graduating this year. I am writing this letter in regards to the proposal on how to improve the school using the money that the Ministry has given the school. I have chosen the second option, which is buying the computers for the students and staff of this school. In this modern society, every student needs access to the computer.
ReplyDeleteStudents will be able to research and have self directed learning.（ These two points should be separated） Students will be able to discover things out by themselves. It will make the students more enthusiastic about lessons. With the computers, students who have no computers at home will have no need to go to public places like the cyber café to use to computer. The setting up of a computer lab will make a conducive environment for the students.
The computers will be able to provide a place for entertainment and relaxation for the students. Students are stressed by the daily work given and by the high expectations of parents and teachers. With the computers, students can play educational games on the computers. This will allow them to relax and at the same time expand their knowledge.(How ?)
Teleconferencing can also be done among students, teachers and professors all over the world. In this way, students will be able to clear doubts with their teachers, as will their teachers clear doubts with their professors. Discussion between students , and teachers all around the world will be more efficient. (The sentence is very vague and didn’t mention how it can be efficient)
Teachers will be able to give students ample preparation before the lesson takes place. Slides and information of an upcoming topic can be sent to the students. Students will thus be able to read through and get a rough idea of the topic to be taught. This will make the job of the teachers easier and teaching will be more efficient. (Lack of example)
Proposal Two is a better choice compared to other proposals as opening a computer lab will set up a conducive environment for the students and staff. People of the same interest in education can gather here and discuss.(The last paragraph is supposed to be comparing of the projects, but your work does not show a very clear comparison. Why? You did not specify which project you are comparing.)
Pearlyn
Shi Shi
Kai Xiang
Choice: buy classroom furniture and equipment.
ReplyDeleteI think that buying classroom furniture equipment is the best choice because it benefits the students by encouraging collaborative learning amongst the students. The new set of tables can be combined together to form groups of four that will not only allow students to improve on their studies through collaborative learning, But also learn new things from one another. Group projects will also be easier and convenient because students sit very close to each other which also mean that they can communicate better. Compared to buying new computers, it is better choice because computers may just distract them from completing their task which defeats the whole purpose of sitting together to learn. It is also very hard for a group of four students to work on a computer together and might also result in only one or two contributing to the work.
This is also the best choice because new furniture enables the student to distress. New set of furniture, such as cushion chairs or even calming wallpapers helps students to relieve stress after a long lesson. Students should be very tired or stressed about studying, so with these new additions they can distress. Compared to computers, new classroom furniture helps to distress while computers do not. Computers might spoil and damage our eyesight after a very long time of usage. Gaming for very long might make the students feel very stressed, which does not help.
Comments :
Old furniture can also be combined together for group work..
Distress is suffering, not relieving stress. (Check dictionary)
How gaming make people feel stressed?
How it benefit to teacher? (not enough time)
How does the cushion and calming wallpaper help to relieve stress??
weibin
Block 601 Clementi West Street 1
ReplyDelete#07-07
Singapore 120601
30 July 2010
Principal
31 Yuan Ching Road
Singapore 748684
Dear Mr Tham
RE: Choice to improve the school with Ministry money
I am Yong Chuen of class 3/4. The purpose of my letter is to state my choice of how the money should be spent. After having gone through all the proposals, I have decided that buying classroom furniture and equipments would best benefit the students.
Needless to say, the choice should be able to benefit the students. Being able to benefit the students mean that the facilities would be able to help them to learn better, students are able to make use of it most of the time. In addition, they had to be closely related to the student’s environment in order to benefit them. As buying classroom equipments and furniture would enhance their learning environment, it would become more conducive, and hence, students can learn better with a better environment. (how?) Students are able to make use of the furniture and equipment daily, so, it is closely related to their daily life.(so?) For example, if the students are having a shaky table and chair, they would not be able to concentrate during lessons as they would try to stabilized the tables and chairs. If the equipments like projector in the classroom is damaged, it would mean that the students would not able to use it to help them understand the lesson better ( again, how ? If the projector is absent, students would not be able to present the presentation using powerpoint and instead, they would have to write all the content on the whiteboard, which would cause inconvenience and trouble for the students. As compared to computers, tables and chairs are required everyday for every lessons, while computers are used once in the blue moon. Nonetheless, furniture and equipments would be improve the student’s environment unlike computers. ( how would it improve the studying environment? )
Another factor to consider is to be able to benefit the teachers. Teachers able to be benefited means that they would be able to conduct their lessons without much difficulties and able to get the attention of their students with the aid of the conducive environment which help the teachers to capture the attention of the students. The teachers would be able to teach comfortably with the furniture and the equipments; teachers are able to share more resources with their students. For example, with the aid of projectors and computer in the classroom, teachers are able ( are they already able to ?) to show their students those videos that would help them to understand the content better. Hence, teachers would not have to waste more time teacher the concepts repeatedly, which would become stressful for both students and teachers. As compared to buying books in the library, new equipments ( what equipments? ) would allow the teachers to get their resources(how?) and therefore, they do not need to make a trip to the library, hence, saving time for the teachers to do their own work.
In conclusion, I believe that buying classroom furniture and equipments would be a better choice as it benefits the teachers and students the most. Thank you for taking time to read this letter.
Yours sincerely
Tan Yong Chuen
Blk 335, Kang Ching Road
ReplyDeleteGreen lantern likes hawk girl
Singapore 610335
29 July 2010
21 Goodwood Ville
Kang Yang Road avenue 6
Singapore 635029
Dear Principal Hao Ting
Firstly, I would like to thank you for giving us this rare opportunity to decide on how to spend sum of money given by the Ministry to improve the school. I strongly believe that Proposal one - buying classroom furniture and equipment, would benefit both the students and teachers.
The brand new furniture will create a better learning environment for the students. Having a conductive environment, would allow fellow students to focus more on their studies without being distracted by the spoilt furniture. For example, with shaky chairs and tables, students would find it difficult to write properly and concentrate on their work without a sturdy table. By replacing these furniture, students can then be more focused on completing their work. Furthermore, with vandalized tables, students will be easily distracted by the profanities and writings on the table.
Students would also be able to use the new equipments to complete their projects more effectively. They can carry out presentations using the projectors, without having to write out everything on the whiteboard which can be a tedious and time-consuming task. Classroom furniture of creative design can be purchase, for example tables that are circle or can be join to form a circle would allow group discussion to take place. The furniture can be colourful so as to make the class a more lively learning environment thus they can concentrate more on the lesson.
(comment : point stated that new equipment to complete their projects more effectively while the example stated that the new furniture can create a lively environment )
With the furniture bought, teachers should benefit. These new furniture would enable the teachers to teach the students comfortably in a more conductive environment. Teachers will be able to ??????? uncompleted point
The new equipments should aid the teachers in teaching more effectively and using different methods to teach students. For example, with the projector, teachers will be able to play online videos that are relevant to the subject. This will gain the interest of the fellow students and hence, getting their attention.
In conclusion, I believe that the purchaser of new classroom equipment would be the best way to use the money.
I think the second proposal is more appropriate. In this modern world, every students need to access to the computer. The computers would be able to benefit the students by helping them in their studies and project works. By using doing projects, students would be able to learn 21st century skills such as information literacy and digital literacy. This would greatly help them in their work in society when they graduate to become working adults. Without these skills, the students would not be able to cope with the changing society that is happening in Singapore.
ReplyDeleteHence, comparing this proposal with the third one, buying books would be rather inconvenient compared to having a computer as going through thousands of pages is a very tedious and troublesome process. Also, books might be outdated easily as the information might change frequently. Unlike books, the information in the computer would be updated.
- “every students” Too strong. Not ALL! Use a word of less intensity.
- “By using doing projects” Wrong sentence structure
- “helping them in their studies and project works” versus “21st century skills such as information literacy and digital literacy” Able to separate into 2 points.
- “information literacy and digital literacy” Please elaborate. What do they mean?
- “greatly help them in their work” Please elaborate. How does it help them?
- “buying books would be rather inconvenient” How is buying them inconvenient.
- How does “buying books would be rather inconvenient” relate to “going through thousands of pages is a very tedious and troublesome process”?
Hoi Yong, Sheng Yang, Eng Huat
Enru & company
ReplyDeleteI am Ke vin vin from class 4-4. I am writing this letter to inform you of my choice in improving the school.
Firstly, buying computers benefits students by allowing them to learn independently. They would be able to do research on their own after school hours about lessons that they could not understand and this would help them in their studies. Furthermore, it will be much more convenient by browsing educational websites using these computers and improve on the efficiency of learning. Students using computer would not have to rely on their teacher to provide them with answers because they would be able to find out on their own and this allows them to remember the information better. For example, with the help of these computers, teachers are able to assign project works to the students either in groups or individual. By doing project works, students are required to apply the 21st century skills such as critical thinking, teamwork and problem-based learning. All this helps the students to be more independent and thus, benefitting them.
CONSTRUCTIVE COMMENTS:
1. THERE IS MORE THAN ONE POINT IN THE PARAGRAPH!
One criterion would be to benefit the students in terms of their comfort. By improving the classroom furniture, the students will enjoy better comfort and will enjoy the lesson better as there is lesser discomfort. An example would be buying chairs €improve the students’ seating posture that is good for the back. The current chairs have very straight backs that do not fit the students’ bodyline, making it very uncomfortable for them. With a better seating posture, students will not experience discomfort in the back and will help them focus on the lesson better. Another example is replacing the current projectors with newer ones. The current projectors are of poor quality, and they often display blur images. Students have difficulty seeing the words on the screen and will have to constantly squint their eyes, making it very uncomfortable. By buying better projectors that display clear images, students will not have to squint so much and that makes the lessons more comfortable for them. (*Projector is not furniture. Point is towards benefiting the students. Good elaboration about the furniture faulty. Explanation is clear.)
ReplyDeleteThe new furniture is also supposed to benefit the students in terms of their learning. By buying classroom furniture and equipment, the students will benefit by having a more comfortable and conducive learning environment which may help their grades improve. And with a better classroom, students will be more encouraged to come for lessons and learn as the furniture is more comfortable and attractive. By buying better chairs and desks that are not shaky, students can concentrate better and not be distracted by rickety furniture. And with better fans that do not make ticking sounds, the students will not be distracted and can fully listen to their teachers. Examples are not provided. The paragraph is just a link from the first. It uses the related explanation from the first paragraph to supplement the 2nd paragraph. It make it seems like a additional explanation for the first paragraph and not explaining the 2nd paragraph point.
Another criterion is also to benefit the teachers in terms of hassle-free IT equipment. By improving the current internet connection in school allows the teachers to show the students real life examples from videos on the internet and do not have to worry about not having internet connection. The current wireless network is often very slow and teachers often takes a long time before showing the students the videos, and also there are times when there are no internet connection. By improving the IT equipment, lesser time will be needed to wait for the internet connection and it helps the teacher to save more time and can spend it on other useful things in class, and also, the teacher will not have to worry about not having internet connection (some sentences are vague. Examples are also not provided. Internet connection is not an equipment.Copied-- it helps the teacher to save more time and can spend it on other useful things in class this is only to help the students by allowing them to learn new things but it is not helping the teachers as they still have to teach more things, exhausting them.
Buying classroom furniture and equipment can create a better learning environment for the students to study in so that there will be less disruption in class. The old tables and chairs [are old and] create squeaky noises when they are [moved] dragged across the floor. With the new furniture in place, there will no [less] squeaky noises made and there will be less disruptions during lessons. As there is no [less] noises made, the students can concentrate properly during their lessons.
ReplyDelete{Critic: Relevant points, though few grammatical errors}
With the new furniture, students would also look forward to going to school. This Is because with the new furniture, it creates a sense of excitement in the students. Students always look forward to using new items and are curious to find out more about it. Therefore, this would encourage students to look forward to school.
{Critic: How does new furniture create a sense of excitement? / somehow irrelevant point, does not answer the criteria.}
Buying equipments such as projectors would be more convenient for the teachers to conduct their lessons. The teachers would be able to use their computers and this can enhance the efficiency of teaching as the teachers would not have to say out every single point, [which can be a troublesome task]. Teaching with such equipments would also be more interesting for the students which would benefit the teacher as she will be able to teach easier.
{Critic: How would this help the teacher to teach easier?}
Thus, I think that buying classroom furniture and equipment is more suitable than buying computers. Buying furniture would create a better learning environment for the students, while buying computers would enable the students to do research for their studies. However, almost every student have computers at home already. Thus, if they want to do research. They can go home and complete the work. Thus. Schools do not need to spent on computers as it would be a rather waste of money as compared to buying furniture and equipments.
{Critic: Comparison between the proposals are not strong enough.}
The comments are in {}
The [] is the weird part... hmm
On Weibin's group
ReplyDeleteClassroom furniture are very important to having a conducive learning environment. Knowing that the proposal should benefit the students, I have chosen proposal 1. After buying classroom furniture, the students are able to concentrate better in class as they are more comfortable. Studying with shaky tables will cause the students to lose focus and get irritated easily. The students will spend time adjusting the shaky tables and chairs to get themselves comfortable. Thus, they may lose out on what is being taught. For example, if the classroom furniture is faulty, most of the students will adjust their tables and chairs and this will cause disturbance in the lessons. Therefore, the lessons are not able to continue as per normal.
Critique: how disturbance affects student’s learning? How classroom furniture provide students with conducive learning environment? How does it benefit the teachers?
Xueting Sharnie Marcus Yishuen
By getting new furniture, it will benefit the students by making them less distracted and more comfortable. The students do not need to put make-shift supports to prevent the chairs and tables from being shaky anymore, which will in turn caused them to be able to concentrate on their work. The new air-conditioner will also make the classroom sound-proof, which the students would also be able to concentrate well in class because they do not need to worry about the din caused by other students and also some weather problems. For example, the sounds of the thunder.( How does air-conditioning make the room sound proof? How does it prevent the sound of thunder from travelling into the classroom? The air-conditioning will produce more sound that the din caused. All students have different limits in enduring cold, if a student complains of being too cold, while another complains of being too warm, they will constantly be switching the temperature of the air-conditioning and this will distract them more.)
ReplyDeleteAnother reason is that it will benefit the teachers too. With quality furniture, like the microphone, the teachers do not need to raise and strain their voices.( a microphone is NOT a furniture, it is an EQUIPMENT ……. And the microphone will create a lot of annoying screeching sounds, this will distract the students and affect their hearing, and not all teachers needs to strain their voice, some have naturally loud voice.)
All in all, I believed that with the new classroom furniture and equipments, it will not only benefit students, but also the teachers, and make the school a more conducive environment for learning. ( How does it benefit the student and teacher? )
Aishwarya
Corrina
JiaHui
Sijia
corrected by Ric Kevin Enru and Rachel